This is brilliant.

Posted here

Knock Knock


I’m your local X candidate … I hope I can count on your vote …

No … you can’t … voting is against my religion … if it were up to me, I would have you jailed as a Confidence Trickster …

What?? Don’t be ridiculous … I’m not a Confidence Trickster! I’m genuinely trying to get elected!

That’s what I mean … trying to get elected … thus you are a Confidence Trickster and should be jailed.

I don’t know how you can work that out!

It’s easy. You want to become a Local Councillor … is that right?

Well … yes.

And what will you do if you are selected?

I’ll sit as a Local Councillor!

And do what?

Well … whatever I need to do.

Such as?

Well … I don’t know … whatever is necessary …

How would you be entitled to do “whatever is necessary”?

Because I’d been elected!!!

What does “being elected” entitle you to do … that you couldn’t do before?

Well … if I’m elected, then I would have a mandate.

A mandate from whom?

From the people who elected me!

So … the people who voted for you would have given you a mandate … is that right?

Yes … obviously!

Actually, it’s far from obvious … because you can only “give” what you have available to “give” in the first place. So those who gave you this mandate must have had the mandate in the first place ,,, isn’t that true?

I don’t understand.

I’ll repeat it. You can only give something that you possess in the first place. You can’t give what you haven’t got. So if people give you a mandate, then they must have the mandate – in the first place – to give to you. Do you understand that?

Well … yes … I think so.

Good. Well, if those people have the mandate in the first place, then there’s absolutely no need for them to give it to you. They can simply exercise the mandate themselves … since they must have it. Isn’t that so?

Errr … now I don’t understand.

It’s very simple. If I have a car I can drive it. I don’t need to give it to you … to drive it for me. If I can give you a mandate, then I must have that mandate. If I have that mandate, then I can exercise it myself … I don’t need to give it to you. So … why don’t all these people simply exercise their mandate … instead of giving it to you?

Errr … I’m not sure.

I am. The reason those people don’t exercise their mandate is because they don’t – actually – have any mandate to exercise … to … as you put it “Do whatever is necessary”. They can’t “Do whatever is necessary” … so they can’t give you the mandate to “Do whatever is necessary”. Not one voter possesses the ability to “Do whatever is necessary”. Therefore, if you “Do whatever is necessary” you are plucking that ability out of your backside … because no voter has it to give to you. If you pluck the ability out of your backside, then you are acting as a Confidence Trickster … and should be jailed for such criminality! And, if I had my way, you would be jailed, instead of standing on my doorstep. OR … come back when you’ve worked out how to give something you haven’t got.